What Ever It Takes

I’m often up at 1:00 am working. I’m not hustling. I’m not burning the candle at both ends. I’m not team no sleep. I’m team do what works for you. This works for me! I’m a new mom and those early morning feedings and pumping sessions were killing me. Let me be real, I hated it! I would often get up to feed the baby half asleep myself and crawl back into bed. I felt so damn guilty. I wasn’t pumping, I wasn’t “building my milk stash.” I was going back to sleep! Looking back at it, I was doing what my body needed and it was calling out for rest!

Now my baby is two months old. She still wakes up in the middle of the night. I still need to pump. The difference is, I’ve turned my pumping sessions into working sessions. Instead of sitting there for 15 - 30 minutes scrolling on instagram while I pump, then taking another 30 - 40 minutes afterwards to scroll instead of going back to sleep, I work. I work on what I want to work on. I do what I need to do so that when I don’t feel like it or I would rather spend time with my baby girl I can. This works for me. Hell, I couldn’t fall asleep anyway when I was stopping by the “Shade Room” all night (IYKYK).  This gives me joy, it gives me satisfaction. It doesn’t drain me. It helps to keep my flame burning.

When this no longer works for me I will stop. I will not beat myself up. I will give myself permission to do what works for me!